Remembering Gina

When I was 15, I moved to a another part of the county that placed me in a different school district. I handled that about as well as you'd expect any temperamental, self-absorbed teenage girl would. I was leaving behind a small circle of friends and larger orbit of friendly acquaintances, that I think deep down, I largely understood I wouldn't see again. With the exception of my best friend Susan, that premonition expectedly came true. Socializing and keeping in touch was so different than it is today. Remember, this was back when shitty dial-up was a hot commodity and the Internet was akin to the Wild West. Anyway, I digress a bit. Back on topic. 

Already sullen and Hating Absolutely Everything, I arrived at my new school on the first day, almost immediately getting lost as I stepped into the building. I remember traipsing the halls trying to find my first period classroom. After a certain point, it became aimless wandering, frustration building up and holding back tears, I glanced down at the crumpled schedule in my hand that was no help at all. This is is bullshit and so unfair. I feel like a Freshman all over again. I'm a Sophomore now and I don't even get to really be that like everyone els does. Thanks, Mom. You have literally ruined my life. 

I was full-on ugly crying at this point, alone in an empty hall, as the class time session bell chimed some time before. I must have looked crazed and ridiculous, when a girl turned the corner and immediately gazed upon me with genuine concern. I think she asked if I was sick and needed the nurse. I choked through my tears and explained the situation. She told me her name was Gina and offered to walk me to my class and get it sorted out. She offered to allow me to make a pit stop at the restroom to first collect myself a bit before moving on.

The only way I can describe Gina was a radiant ball of energy and light. She had a beautiful smile and would just light up a room with warmth and happiness. And it wasn't in a sappy or saccharin way at all. She was just a genuine person that was - and still is - so rare to find. In hindsight, and really looking back on it, I can probably say with current (not then) confidence that I likely had the stirrings of my first girl crush on Gina. I was a bit starstruck. 

I'm sad to say that after graduation, we lost touch and I never saw her again. As it does a million times over, you part ways and move on in different directions and go on living life. And one day further into the future, you are suddenly blindsided with some devastating news. 

It was Thanksgiving morning 2017 when I was surfing Facebook, and I was stopped in my tracks by a post. I follow a remembrance/memorial group for my high school, where people will share the news of alumnae/faculty/staff who have passed away. I was suddenly reading one about Gina. She had recently passed after a valiant battle with cancer. 

I would later read about it in her own health blog that I found, in which she documents having severe sinus pain where a malignant mass was eventually found. As positive and upbeat as I remember, Gina's posts were all about her determined plan to fight it, to live for her family and her beloved pooch, and to usher in a new decade and celebrate the Big 4-0. Unfortunately, she didn't get to do any of that and passed at just 39.

For someone who had not been in my daily orbit for over 20 years, I took her death pretty hard. I had such fond, wonderful memories of her and the time when we were in each other's lives on a near-daily basis. And even though those times were typically fleeting and brief, they are still cherished and an important part of my past all the same. Gina was the first friendly face I saw in a strange and foreign place. Her radiant disposition was a beacon of calm and reassurance. In some ways, it feels like it was a bit of fate that she was the one who found me that day. I do so regret that we did not reconnect in the years since. 

In the now three years since her passing, I think of her every so often, but even more so around the Thanksgiving holiday. While the time we crossed paths and knew each other is encapsulated in another life, the sheer impact of having met and known Gina has held firm in memories of her, and they have not waned with the passage of time. I am so grateful and thankful to have known Gina. 

Rest in Peace, Gina. You were one of the good ones, whose light burned bright and fast, and left this world much too soon. 💖