Surviving 2020 - A New Years Musing

The sun is setting on 2020. 

I'm always pensive this time of year, but perhaps even more so after surviving 2020. And it was just that, surviving. There have been expansive highs and lows, and it's been difficult to share those highs in a year marked by such tension, uncertainty and grief. I sometimes felt guilty for celebratory posts I shared on the new house, the new position at work, or even revisiting my creative passion for writing and designing.

As much as I have shared, there is even more I've held back. I publicized my new blog and the Non-NaNoWriMo project with trepidation as I was opening up and sharing parts of myself to the world, and taking license to purposely avoid politics and the pandemic. I realize that has been a privilege and luxury that not everyone can afford. It was my way of escaping the extreme fatigue and stress associated with all of that, and gave me something else for my brain to focus on instead of the constant stress. 

My thoughts around this time of year naturally goes to loved ones lost. I grew up living with my maternal grandparents until I was 15. They were first generation born Czechoslovakians who also survived so much in their lifetime, notably The Great Depression, WWII the turbulence of the 60s and Civil Rights, to name a few. My grandfather was stationed at Pearl Harbor at the time of the attack and the pulled the wounded and the dead from the Pacific. That's about all I know, as he was not one to share his wartime experience and horrors he undoubtedly witnessed. 

When I see inexplicable, entitled defiance, retribution and violence by the 'infringement of rights' crowd over wearing masks, I think of all he and countless others fought for, and the stark differences between the two types of people on the end of that spectrum, and the kind of human beings we're becoming. 

But. We can always strive to be and do better. There's much to reconcile and heal in the coming year and beyond. I'm hopeful we will bear witness to that in our lifetime, whatever time we do have left. The generations to come - and the very survival of our species is dependent on it. 

My Grandparents in an undated New Years party photo. Happier times. 

Happy New Year! 🎉💕